I am a big dork

Last week, for some odd reason, I decided I wasn’t going to shave for an undetermined amount of time. Normally, I can’t go more than four days without a shave and I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned before that I’m a hairy beast. The longest I’ve gone without shaving is about six weeks in order to grow a mustache for Mustache March at work a year ago. I grew a full beard and then, on the last day of March, I shaved off everything but the hair on my upper lip. So great was the mustache that it won me an award for Most Muchacho. It was an incredibly uncomfortable experience and I’m not exactly sure why I’m repeating it again. In addition to my current 10 day old beard that actually looks a month old, I also am in the early stages of needing a haircut. My hair is incredibly curly and I need regular haircuts more often than the average person. I’ve gotten used to the normal opening conversation while getting a haircut:

Hair stylist: Wow, it must have been a long time since you’ve had your last haircut!

Me: No, it’s been about there weeks since my last one

Hair stylist: Three weeks!??!? Your hair grows fast! Do you want it short?

Me: Yes, very short please.

Without fail, they always end up cutting my hair less than short and I have to tell them to take more off. However, I digress. This morning I rode my bike in to work. I don’t like to walk into work with sweaty clothes, so I usually wear a wife beater while riding my bike and then change into my dry work shirt when I arrive. On Mondays I usually wake up early and do laundry, but I overslept and decided to to it when I got back from work. I only had one white shirt and one black button up shirt, so I crammed them both in a plastic bag and put them in my backpack. When I arrived at work, I pulled my bike into the bike rack to lock it. A bike had fallen to it’s side so I picked it up to move it. What I didn’t realize was the the bike had been there for weeks or even months, so it was covered in dust and gunk. My hands were covered in it, so after locked up my bike I made my way to the bathrooms to clean up. I washed my hands and pulled out the plastic bag with my clean clothes. I looked in the mirror and noticed my hair was all over the place, so I decided to wet it down and fix it. It was then that I realized that I looked like homeless guy. I was pretty sure someone was going to walk in an accuse me of sleeping in one of the offices at work. To top it all off, I bought one of those straw fedoras that make me look like more of a cool bum than a homeless guy.