I am a big dork

Holy Crap, an update

by The Big Dork on Aug.17, 2009, under Dorky Stuff

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Lots of stuff has happened in the past few months that made me hate computers a lot less, so here I am posting. Long story short, I got even dorkier and I moved away in order to start fresh. Things I’ve noticed since I’ve been in my new home:

It’s hot. The other day I didn’t leave the home because I knew I’d get soaked in sweat. The next day I brought myself back down to reality and said “That’s absurd. Sure, I’ll sweat a little, but it can’t be that bad. WRONG. I took a 15 minute walk and spent the next 3 hours waiting for my shirt to dry. That can’t be healthy.
Alcohol laws are weird. You can’t buy liquor and beer in the same store. Not that I’m concerned with that because I’m a goddamn saint and never touch that devil’s liquid.
I got carded trying to buy a lighter. I had a four day old beard and got carded buying a lighter. Apparently I need to grow my beard longer because I still get carded for R-rated movies. Not alcohol, though, as I’m a goddamn saint and never drink.
After spending five minutes typing this, I’ve realized I hate computers and don’t want to type anymore. It’ll probably be another six months until I update, but hopefully not. Everyone start doing interesting things so I can write about how you’re all dorks and I’m normal, not the other way around. Thanks.

Now I’m going to walk home and take my fourteenth shower of the day. If it were up to me, I’d live in the shower like Kramer from Seinfeld but with more racism.

Smooches, my babies!

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